Joseph (Roswell, NM)

This was Joseph. This man was the first "family" guy I ever became friends with in Roswell. I will continue the story of My "Independence Day", which I didn't get to finish. You can read it found in my "Short Stories" section.

The last thing I mention was the fact that Cahoon Park was the perfect place for me to be at then because of how I was feeling. While eating my burger, I noticed a lot of cars cruising by. I didn't think there would be much action going on at night, but I was wrong. After a while, this guy on a bike gets near my truck window and starts to conversate with me. He asked me if I was from Roswell, then went on asking me other very personal questions. I was not only shocked for what he was asking me, but also didn't understand some of his questions; he was using terminology that I has no idea what it meant. To clearly understand what he was asking, I asked him what he meant. He couldn't believe I didn't know. Then he asked me the reason for being there. And I told him why I was there. Once again, he thought I was lying. Why would I lie, I asked? He gave me some information about the park. He asked me if I noticed who all was driving by. I answered mostly men by themselves. Those men are looking for something, you know?, he tell me. I had no idea what! He still didn't believe me. finally he tells me that the Park becomes a cruise for men in search of action. What kind of action, I asked. I honestly didn't know then. Men getting with other men he said! There were a million inner thoughts, and a strange feeling I got when I heard those words. I couldn't believe it. An here I though I was the only person with those likes in Roswell, or at least that is how I felt. He continued to ask me if I was a top or bottom. That's something I had never heard before. So I couldn't answer. He told me the difference, and what they mean. I had no idea because I hadn't done either before. He still didn't believe me that I wasn't there to "hook-up." I didn't care if he believe me or not. I thought I had heard enough, so I left. As I was leaving and heading back home, I was thiking on everything from that conversation. I went back. I started to drive around certain areas. There were a lot of people parked, listening to music, and seem to be socializing just great. They would stare at me, and some even made gestures for me to stop, but I ignore them and kept driving. One guy gets on his car with some other guy. They start to follow me. I got very nervous and scared, so I left the park. To my surprise, they were still following me. I really got super scared then. I got home and thought about the events, and then I came to conclusion that I would do things different from then on. Before, I had known guys from school that were really obvious, but yet I never would make the effort to get to know them. I grew up denying my kind! i realized that there were people in Roswell just like me, and that I should try to get to know people that. I had nothing to loose. If anything, a great friend to which confide and get to know others. This is why I am calling this My "Independence Day" as well: July 4th. After the "talk" I was having with myself, mind, soul, and heart...I felt free! Free to finally accept the person who I really am. To stop denying myself the opportunity to meet others like me, to accept the fact that I like men and do something about it, not just let life go by, and to try my chances to go back to that place. It took me another 2 weeks before I got the guts to go back to the park. When I finally did, I noticed the same car that chased me was there. Shortly after I arrive and was cruising, a nice blak cadillac is behind me. As I am making a U, the driver lowers down his window and I do the same. He tells me the guy that was following me the last time I was there, and wanted to apologize to me. He told me to wait where I was till he let him know that it was cool for him to come by and apologize in person. I met him, and we got to talk. That guy turned out to be Joseph! He became a really great friend, and slowly introduced me to other people. Soon, I became known to the small community. We would all hang out at the park, and now I was part of something I never had before: friends of people like me (my sexual preference that is).

Joseph was well liked. He also liked to entertain the roswelliens. He too had a nice collection of music and movies. He like to invite people over. Since he lived by himeself, and had a house of his own, he didn't mind sharing what he had to others. We had a few cook-outs at his hosue. I still remember he was a great salsa maker. He made the greatest red salsa ever. One day, i went to his place to cook, and he liked it. We had a nice dinner. Of course, only a few people were allowed to go to his house. He had many things that people would want to steal; so he had to be very selctive. He know what it takes to have something. He had worked so hard to get what he had. He always had 2 jobs, so he was always busy. After a while, we weren't so close becuae I got involved with many things. I was working out of town; it made it harder to spend time with friends in Roswell. I still tried to have a party once in a while at my house to see people for that was the only time I was able to see most of the community there. Joseph became known by so many if not all people in Roswell. He was a great listener, and always made time to call his friends.

Here comes the bad news. As you noticed, I've been talking about him in the past not just because all was past but also because he already passed away. :( His death was a shocked to everyone that knew him and/or of him. He didn't drink nor smoked. He seemed full of life. Always smiling at the parties, being friendly, and making jokes. Of course, there were a ot of rumors about his sudden death. Some commented that he died of AIDS. Kevin, a friend of ours, is a nurse. He works at the only hospital in Roswell. He was the one that gave us the bad news about Joseph before he died. We were at a party, and wondered how come Joseph wasn't there. Kevin was the one that organized the party to inform us of hi state. Thats'a when we all found out that Joseph had cancer. Apparently, he had gone to get his gall bladder checked on. The doctors were able to fix that problem, although, they found the cancer in that area. It was terminal cancer. He had 6 months, at the most, to be alive. You could see everyone's reaction as a major shock. We couldn't believe it. He died in less than 3 months after he was diagnosed with the terminal disease. He passed away shortly after he had moved into his new house he had bought.

Up to this point, there are many people that knew him that still don't have a clue as to what became of him. Another big reason why I don't have my parties any more. I am thankful aand glad tobe able to leave Roswell for the weekends. I get to go home to Las Cruces, NM and spend time with my family (mainly nephews) and then at night, go out if I want. The parties I had were mainly for the community in Roswell; for those that aren't as fortunate to leave town and have fun by other means. People aren't as thankful, or so it seems. They wanted/expected for someone to have a place to have the parties, to supply all the drinks, and be entertained; all without even asking, out of consideration, to help out in some way. It took me a while to learns that people don't give a darn if you get in trouble when the cops get to your place. They won't do anything to help out either prior or after the party. I really had no time for that. Like I said, I was able to leave alsewhere; somewhere I didn't have to worry about all of those things. Now got even worse for partiers. In Roswell, there is a law that one can't have any drinks in the presence of minors. If caught, the owner of the house goes to jail, and gets a 4th degree felony. Some have disregarded that law and have kept with the same routine. Most which have gotten in trouble already. I work for the government and can't really be risking what I have worked so hard for just for a party. When minors ask me about previous parties, and that they've heard I throw the best ones, and they suggest for me to have one...my answer is that refuse to put in risk my future. Like Joseph, he was very excusive with his parties. his were always the mellow type. His neighbors weren't as sympathetic as mine, so he had to be extra careful. As you know, sometimes at parties people get routy and get into arguments that might lead to fights. People that have no idea how hard it is to get where anyone else is in life, from my experience, have been the ones that don't really have nothing: no goals, no ambitions, stuck in life, most often stil living with parents, doing drugs, in search of a shortcut to success. Joseph knew these things as well, and for tha reason we connected even greater.